The first time someone came into our booth, read a poem and burst into tears, I instantly felt so guilty and surprised because I felt like I caused someone pain. It was most likely the poem called, Release, because it is a powerful poem on so many levels. I immediately started apologizing profusely. However, this was not the first or the last time. So, if you have done this, please know that you are not alone, and I never judge. I open my arms with compassion for you. I have also since stopped apologizing because we all need a good cry sometimes, and my heart feels so touched when people connect with my poetry, art and stories, and it reaffirms my path. I tend not to reread my poems too often with everything going on, and when I do, I have never cried like this, until this new book. Book 5 is here. Growing, floating and blooming.
Growing up I was called sensitive, and a goody two shoes, and a cry baby. So, I automatically apologize when someone is crying, especially if I am the one crying. But crying is so healthy. And crying can be for so many reasons. I have learned to embrace my tears, but not live where they live. Emotions are like the ebbs and flows of waves or weather, and I have been working on riding those waves and transforming them when they break, like the perfect wave. I am not always successful, but progress, not perfection. Anyhow, back to what I was writing.
That’s right, I have written and self published five poetry and art books. The teenager that carried her three notebooks of poetry around like a gremlin never imagined….the young woman who created the first Blossoming book never dreamed. The little girl that colored on the ironing board never believed. But here we are. I cannot wait for you to read it. You can find them on Amazon or in person at our next event. This one made me cry such happy tears. Like sobs. For minutes. LOL
I wanted to share the poem that made me burst into tears. It is actually a happy poem, and they were tears of gratitude as the words rang true. And then I read the next and the next, and I cried and cried, knowing, feeling affirmed that Walking Away from Something I loved and using the decay as growth was the best thing I ever did for myself.
BUT. I guess before you read the poem that actually made me cry, you have to read the poem I wrote two years ago. The Art of Christine Samad: A Journey of Healing was the most vulnerable I have ever been about my healing journey. I used art and poetry as a way to process my emotions and the trauma from childhood and therapy. Then I decided to share it all in one collection because I know I am not alone as an adoptee, and as a human. It is kind of lengthy, but definitely worth it. I never thought that I would stop ruminating about everything. I thought I would carry the heaviness of grief and trauma forever.
Talk therapy and exploring plant medicine has helped with rumination and reliving the experiences I went through. Sharing my art and poetry has been healing as well because I have taken the space I needed to be vulnerable, and you all have made me feel seen. Heard. Understood. Encouraged.
Ok, finally, here is A Breath of Fresh Air from my newest book, The Art of Christine Samad: Growing, Floating and Blooming. The moment I started crying, I cried for the rest of the book. I really hope that my art and poetry is a light to all of you on your journey.